


Never An Option

by darkangel86



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Coda, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M, Sad Michael, True Love, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 14:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18501151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel86/pseuds/darkangel86
Summary: Michael stood with his back to Alex, not moving and for a second Alex wondered if he should take that as a sign to just cut his losses and leave. After everything Michael had been through in the last few hours, the last thing he needed was Alex bothering him and making things worse. He'd just found and lost his mother in the span of minutes. Christ, Alex really needed to get a hold of himself, of course Michael wouldn't want to be bothered right now. If he wanted company, he'd have asked to be dropped off at Max's, with his actual family. And at that Alex winced, his words suddenly slamming back into the forefront of his mind. He'd actually said that to him. Yelled it. But he meant it, of course he did. Michael was Alex's family more than anyone blood related to him would ever be. He just wished Michael believed him.





	Never An Option

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 1x12.

“Give me a second,” Alex said as he moved to follow Michael out of the vehicle. “I'm gonna make sure he's okay,” He said to Kyle.

Alex hurried to catch up with Michael and did so just as he reached the door to the trailer.

“Hey, Guerin, wait a second,” Alex said, the urge to reach out and touch Michael so strong that he nearly stumbled into the other man. “I don't, I mean, I'm not even sure what to say at this point but I just need to make sure you're okay? And that sounds dumb as hell because I know you're not but I just, I can't leave you here, alone like this without asking.”

Michael stood with his back to Alex, not moving and for a second Alex wondered if he should take that as a sign to just cut his losses and leave. After everything Michael had been through in the last few hours, the last thing he needed was Alex bothering him and making things worse. He'd just found and lost his mother in the span of minutes. Christ, Alex really needed to get a hold of himself, of course Michael wouldn't want to be bothered right now. If he wanted company, he'd have asked to be dropped off at Max's, with his actual family. And at that Alex winced, his words suddenly slamming back into the forefront of his mind. He'd actually said that to him. Yelled it. But he meant it, of course he did. Michael was Alex's family more than anyone blood related to him would ever be. He just wished Michael believed him.

“I, I didn't mean it,” Michael whispered, so softly that Alex very nearly missed it. After everything that had happened, that's what Michael chose to focus on? Alex felt his heart break just a little bit more for this man he loved so much.

“You think I don't know that, Guerin?” Alex asked, ever so slowly reaching out to touch Michael's shoulder. “You might, for all intents and purposes, be a genius but that was the most cliched ploy to get someone out of a bad situation if I ever saw one.”

Michael turned slowly to look at Alex, his eyes red rimmed and full of tears. Alex wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms and hold him, protect him and make sure this terrible world that had done nothing but hurt him would never get its nasty clutches on Michael again.

“Will you stay? I don't, I don't want to be alone.” Michael admitted, so broken sounding that Alex knew there was never a chance he could ever walk away from this man again.

“Let me just go tell Kyle I'm staying so he can go ahead and leave.” Alex said and hurried back across the lot towards the SUV.

“Listen, I'm-” Alex started.

“Staying with Guerin, yeah man, I knew that before you even got out of the car before,” Kyle said, a sad smile on his face. “He needs someone and there's no better person to take care of him right now. But if you need someone, or you both need a friend? Call me.” Kyle said and Alex offered him a delicate smile in return.

“Thanks, man.” Alex said before grabbing his bag and making his way back towards Michael. Inside the trailer he found him sitting on the edge of his bed, staring off into space, not blinking, not moving, just sitting. Alex dropped his bag by the door before pulling it closed and locking it. He shrugged off his jacket before turning to look at Michael. He had no real clue how to help him but he knew he'd do whatever Michael asked of him, he'd give him whatever he needed.

“What can I do?” Alex asked as he stepped around the end of the bed, hesitantly and waited.

“Hold me?” Michael asked and Alex was at his side in an instant. Removing his jacket came first, then the jean shirt underneath until Michael was left in only a t-shirt. Next were his boots that Alex pulled off and tossed aside. He hesitated for less than a second at the belt buckle on Michael's pants before unbuckling it and slipping it from his pants.

“You want them off or... ?” Alex asked, giving Michael the option, realizing he hadn't exactly up to this point. He'd just jumped right in and done it for him.

“Why didn't you leave?” Michael asked instead, momentarily throwing Alex. “I told you to go but you didn't budge. You didn't even flinch. Why didn't you run, Alex?” He asked, tear filled eyes turning to look at him.

“There is no world, Michael Guerin, no universe where I exist without you.” Alex said as if it were something he admitted out loud every day. “Leaving you there to die, to possibly never see again, that was never an option for me.”

“I'm not worth it,” Michael uttered, broken and Alex grasped his face in both hands.

“You are worth everything to me,” Alex said, tears pooling in his eyes. “We've messed up, so many times over the years and so much of that is on me but I will never walk away from you like that, not when your life is in danger. I will never leave you to die. I will die with you before I do.”

“You can't do that, Alex,” Michael cried and Alex wiped at the falling tears with his thumbs.

“You can't stop me, Guerin,” Alex grinned as he leaned his forehead against Michael's. “I made up my mind a long time ago about you. Its just taken me this long to find the courage to admit it to you and for that, I'm sorry. But, I love you. Its always been you. There's never going to be anyone else for me.”

“Fuck you, Alex,” Michael sobbed as he clutched at the other man's arms. “I've loved you since I was seventeen years old and you brought me a guitar our of the goodness of your heart.”

“I know, Guerin. I know. I'm sorry its taken me so long to get here.” Alex whispered against Michael's temple as he continued to hold him. “But I swear to god, I'm not going anywhere. Never again.”

“Everyone I love leaves me,” Michael cried as he clutched tighter to Alex. “My mom. She was here, this entire time, just hours away and I never knew. Alex, she was here. I found her and I, I lost her.”

“I know, I know but you found her. God, Michael, you found your mom. I can not even begin to imagine how you feel right now, but think about it. She didn't abandon you. You weren't just left here by someone that didn't care or didn't want you. Michael, you were loved so much by someone that wanted you for all these years!” Alex exclaimed, tears now rolling down his cheeks. He'd seen the love in the old woman's eyes when she'd looked at Michael. He'd known without a doubt how much she'd loved him.

“But I should have known. I should have found her!” Michael yelled, his face contorting in anger at himself.

“How? There was no way you could have known. There was no way any of you could have known.” Alex said sadly. “You can not blame yourself for this. Michael, I won't let you.”

“She saw you, you know, just for a second, I saw her look past me and at you and she smiled. I think, I think she knew, who you are to me and she was happy,” Michael said, sniffling and Alex gasped, in complete surprise. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear.

“How could she-” Alex started to ask.

“I think she could feel how much it hurt to lie to you like I had. I was projecting that pretty loud,” Michael admitted and Alex sighed as he brushed a curl back out of Michael's eyes. “I'm sorry I lied. I just needed you to get out of there. I couldn't risk your life. I would never risk your life, not for mine or anyone else's.”

“You weren't risking my life. I made my choice and it was you.” The finality in Alex's voice sent a chill down Michael's spine.

“I don't deserve you.” Michael said and Alex wasn't having it.

“You deserve the god damn world, Michael,” He said, so fiercely that Michael gasped. “I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that you did.”

“You're the only person that made me believe that I might.” Michael admitted, breathlessly as he surged forward into Alex's arms and hugged him like he'd never hugged anyone before.

“You need to rest. Its been a horrific day and I know you're exhausted.” Alex said once Michael finally relented and pulled back. “But I'm here until you ask me to leave.”

“I am never asking you to leave, Alex, don't you get that?” Michael asked quietly. “You're free to go when you get tired of my bullshit but I will never outright ask you to go.”

“Then we're going to have to seriously discuss moving you to the cabin because there is not enough room for two grown men to live in this trailer comfortably.” Alex said, a tentative smile on his face and Michael felt the air suddenly leave his lungs. “We can talk about that in the morning. I meant it. You need sleep. And I need to let my leg rest. Running on this prosthetic is actual hell.”

“Can I?” Michael asked and with a smile, Alex nodded. Scooting back, he let Michael remove his jeans first, then very carefully the prosthetic next. Alex sighed in relief once it was off. He watched as Michael removed his own jeans before crawling into bed beside of Alex and settling down. “Will you, if you don't mind, will you still hold me, please?” He asked and Alex's heart hammered against his rib cage at how small Michael sounded.

“You never have to ask, Michael. The answer will always be yes.” He said, smiling as he gathered him into his arms. With Michael's head resting on his chest, Alex wrapped his arms around his torso and held him close. Alex sighed. Nothing had ever felt this right before.

“Thank you,” Michael whispered, his warm breath against Alex's chest causing him to shiver.

“Whatever you're thanking me for, I can assure you, its not necessary.” Alex said, his chin resting atop a mess of curls.

“Thank you for being here, thank you for loving me, thank you for not leaving me there, thank you for being you, thank you for meeting my mom, even if it was in the worst way possible, I don't know which exactly so you can take your pick,” Michael mumbled and Alex just tightened his hold.

“Get some sleep. I promise, tomorrow will be a better day. I'll make sure of it.” Alex swallowed hard past the lump that was forming in his throat and swore as he closed his eyes, as he prayed to a God he wasn't sure he believed in anymore, that he would be able to keep his promise. Because Michael deserved it. Michael deserved everything and Alex would be damned if he didn't get it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to assume you're all a bunch of emotional wrecks after last nights episode like I am? God. Vlamis killed me. Destroyed me. Broke me. Is everyone okay? And on top of that, Tyler's song playing during that scene? Consider me gone, friends.


End file.
